leadership dot #2211: storied history

One of my stops while in New York was a tour of Yankee Stadium, a place that is filled to the brim with history and legacy. Everywhere you go there is a reference to the 27 World Champions that the franchise has won – clearly impressive since second place is St. Louis which has only won 11.

I noticed that the last trophy that the Yankees brought home was in 2009, which made me wonder when their championship dynasty occurred. What I learned was that since 2000, 12 different teams have won the World Series, with the Yankees only winning twice in those 18 years. The Boston Red Sox and the San Francisco Giants have won three each in that time. The Yankees’ tour conveniently glosses over when the winning took place and instead focuses on the fact that it did.

For the Yankees, the enormity of their total championships clearly outweighs the recent gap in winning one. They do a great job of associating “Yankees” with “winners” in the public’s mind, even if the recent history would say otherwise.

There are many versions of any story and your job is to determine which chapter of your story to read aloud. In the Bronx, there is no doubt which pages those are.

leadership dot #2189: sign

I’ve been enduring road construction near my home and each week brings a new traffic pattern or set of conditions. There are so many changes that the contractor has resorted to covering up signs with duct tape or ignoring the signage all together.

This one appropriately describes the situation – there may be work or it may be closed – it just depends.



I wonder if organizational employees sometimes feel like this is the mantra of their management. Something is going on, but no one is sure what that is. Leaders send mixed signals or unclear messages which, in many cases, is worse than not communicating at all.

Messages that fluctuate depending on which way the (leadership) wind is blowing cause more confusion than necessary. Help your employees know which road to take by providing accurate and timely information instead of leaving them to guess.

leadership dot #2168: stars

Like all good tourists, when I was in Hollywood I strolled Hollywood Boulevard and looked at the Walk of Fame. I thought about the thrill that must have been for those whose name is permanently engraved on the sidewalk and how for many it would represent a highlight of their career.

We reveled in seeing the stars – as if it were the star themselves. Tom Cruise, Marilyn Monroe, Alex Trebek, Bob Hope, Harrison Ford, Walt Disney, Matt Damon, Amy Grant, Michael Jackson – blocks and blocks of the biggest names in entertainment and we were standing where we know they once were.

But we also traversed over dozens of stars whose names we did not recognize at all – Viola Dana, Clyde Cook, Gabby Hays, Faye Emerson, Madge Bellamy, Barbara Whiting, Meriam C Cooper, Eerlin Husky, Yma Sumac – all famous enough to be immortalized on the Walk of Fame, but not enduring enough to become household names (at least in our circle).

Your organization likely does not have a literal walk of fame but think about the people who would be on it. What are you doing to keep their legacy alive? How do you tell the story of your founders or legends in your industry so that the subsequent generations would at least recognize their name? It’s nice to do recognition in the moment, but even better if you allow the star to keep shining over the long term.

leadership dot #2163: non-question

It is mostly a waste of time when the manager at a restaurant goes between tables and asks diners: “How is your meal?” I’ll be that they most frequently hear “fine” or something similar. It is a non-question -- just something to say rather than a request for a real answer. It interrupts the diner’s meal and I would venture to bet that it pays a little dividend for the restaurants.

Such a lost opportunity!

What if instead, the manager asked: “What is one thing we could do to become better?” or “If you were the manager, what is something you would change?” or even “What was the worst part of your experience today?” These types of questions would force the diners to give more substantive answers and a savvy manager could track (literally or intuitively) the frequency of responses. It would allow them to take action in a way that was meaningful.

Instead of a token public relations sweep through the restaurant, managers would be well served to use the time to truly learn something from those who know them best. Whether of your diners, employees, donors or clients, make it a point to ask real questions, not those which elicit an automatic, generic (non-) response.

leadership dot #2162: letter

My 6-month-old puppy was spayed yesterday, an action that was traumatic for her (and me!), but in the scheme of things, very ordinary. There were no complications and after a few hours, they sent her on her way.

It was routine surgery and I’m sure any vet in town could have performed it in essentially the same way. But what set my vet apart was that in addition to the pills and wound-care instructions, Emma came home with a letter that explained her experience:
Today was a very special day for me!...My day started when the veterinarian and the nurse made sure I was OK to have surgery. They looked me over carefully and then took some blood samples for tests…After this step, I was given some medication which made me feel a little sleepy. While I was relaxing, they told me I would soon fall asleep and, when I woke up, the surgery would be all done…They told me not to worry because I would be given pain medicine before I even woke up, and they would also trim my nails while I was sleeping!...It seemed like only a few minutes but then I woke up and the nurse told me surgery was all over. I was kept warm and comfy with soft blankets, and the nurse called my family to tell them how everything went.
 These are [some of] the instructions from the veterinarian to help take care of me for the next few days:

• Don’t let me lick or scratch at my incision site. If I can’t leave it alone, I may need an Elizabethan collar (the Cone of Shame!) to keep me away from it.
• No bathing (yay!) or swimming for the next 7-10 days.

…So that was my big day! Everyone at Colonial Terrace Animal Hospital was very nice and made me feel special! They said my family is lucky to have me (and I know I am lucky to have them), and that I was a wonderful patient!
 I have had many dogs spayed over the years, and none of them have come home with anything but the standard, rote instructions. In fact, it seems that everything that requires directions comes with plain, technical language.

Why not take a few extra moments to make your communications memorable? Especially for situations like spay surgery that happen frequently, an investment up front can pay multiple dividends and help you become the Top Dog in your client’s mind.

leadership dot #2118: bridge

Part of my construction detour involves back roads with a one-lane bridge. I imagine that the bridge was initially installed for tractors or even horses with buggies and no one has felt it warranted the expense of upgrading it after all these years.

Bridges are the trickiest part of building a road. They cost the most to construct and present the greatest design challenges for engineers as it is difficult to span a gap and create a seamless interface with two opposing sides.

I think the same is true in organizations. Bridge-building among colleagues is often the most stressful and time-consuming part of a task. Creating relationships when there are opposing views necessitates delicate maneuvering and often requires great energy and patience. But just as a highway bridge can save miles of driving, a solid work connection can make things much easier on the organizational journey.

Building a one-lane bridge is an economical solution for a low traffic road, but it doesn’t work for organizations. Bridges need to allow for two-way communication and mutual understanding. On-going attention must be paid to ensure their stability.

Think about the organizational road on which you are traveling. Does it have a modern bridge, a one-lane crossing or are you just staying on your own side without reaching out to others? Bridge building may not be easy, but the benefits of a two-lane exchange span the entire organization.

leadership dot #2111: connection

There is much written about the importance of belonging and the positive impact it has on well-being, but I have always been hesitant to fully embrace the concept as an organizational goal. Belonging is not something that can be easily facilitated or practiced every day. Belonging can also be seen as an extroverted concept and conjures up images of being part of a large group or team, something that is not comfortable for everyone.

I am much more in favor of the concept of “mattering” as described by Nancy Schlossberg and discussed in dot #416. Schlossberg’s research showed that people needed to feel that they mattered to someone else – a more personal concept than belonging – and something more easily accomplished one-to-one and in short-term situations. Mattering is the feeling that you matter to someone else and you would be missed if you were not there.

Another concept that resonated with me is that of “responsiveness”, written about in Power of Moments by Chip Heath and Dan Heath (see more about their book in dot #2107). The Heaths describe responsiveness as the core tenant of successful relationships. To achieve it, partners must provide: understanding, validation and caring – in other words, “attunement” to how we see ourselves, respect of who we are and what we want, then the taking of supportive steps to help meet those needs. Responsiveness makes relationships stronger and more secure, whether they be of personal or professional nature.

Hospitals that are more responsive to patient needs receive higher satisfaction scores. Employees who believe their supervisor is responsive to them as a person have greater engagement and productivity. Teachers who are more responsive to their students help them learn more effectively. Customer service representatives who are more responsive to their clients are perceived as serving them better.

While belonging to a tribe may be the long-term goal, an initial positive connection can be cultivated more quickly and frequently through one-on-one responsiveness and mattering. Whether you are on a client call, meeting with a colleague or supervising an employee, begin by learning what is important to them and then respond in a way that shows that it matters.

leadership dot #2101: point of view

People generally want to be right. What makes it more difficult, even for open-minded folks, is to absorb the concept that while they may be right, others may be right, too.
This simple exercise can help illustrate the point.

If you look at the figure from this perspective, it is a 3:


From this side, the same shape is an M:


But from this way, it looks like a W:


And from the other direction, it appears to be an E:


Someone might see this drawing and report that it was an E, 3, M or W – and be correct.

The next time you hear a statement that differs from yours, think of this dot. Ask yourself whether they literally have a different point of viewing rather than a different point of view.

Thanks, Mike!

leadership dot #2100: sound of silence

When someone does something that displeases you, what is your initial reaction? If you are like many, your tendency is to raise your voice, but it may be more effective to do the opposite. Silence can be a more powerful tool in your supervisory arsenal.

A colleague recounts the story of an employee who erred and after she gave her explanation and mea culpas, he sat there and nodded. The silence was more unnerving than a reprimand would have been, and she said so. “Aren’t you going to yell at me?” she asked. No.

In a vastly different arena than supervision, the puppy training manuals encourage the same treatment when the dog has an accident. Instead of scolding, ignoring the puppy and giving it the silent treatment is claimed to be more powerful. Puppies want affirmation and affiliation so instead of scaring it, shun it and behavior modification will come more quickly, or so the theory goes.

While I am not advocating for silence in all (or even many) situations, saying nothing does have its role. If the deed is already done, the person has acknowledged the error and learned from it, there may be nothing more meaningful to say.

leadership dot #2090: universal

In one of the Red Carpet interviews before the Academy Awards, director Gretta Gerwig was credited with bringing Lady Bird to life through the attention to detail and realistic elements that were infused in her story. “The more specific something is, the more universal it ends up being,” actress Beanie Feldstein reported Gerwig as saying.

This statement is true for the movie, and I think it has broader applicability. I have been a proponent of specificity for decades, and it is that concreteness that often makes an example come to life as a teaching tool for others. I know that in my workshops participants want a detailed script of how to address accountability, or an actual evaluation or attributes list so they can adapt it to their own use. If I provide something that is just a general outline it seems to have less relevance and transferability.

If a story is specific, it becomes believable and thus we connect with one aspect of it and relate it to our lives. I just finished reading Donna Tartt’s Pulitzer Prize-winning The Goldfinch and her descriptive genius made me feel as if I was in the museum with the main character. Its richness helped to make it a universal story about friendship and self-reliance.

The next time you are tempted to convey your message with broad strokes, think about Gretta Gerwig’s quote. Provide the specifics to picture ourselves in your story so we can extrapolate meaning from there.

leadership dot #2087: brain date

What is the number one thing you hope to get out of a professional conference that you attend? I think for many people the answer is either making a connection – expanding their network to meet someone who can help them in the future – or gaining a new idea that will move them forward either personally or professionally.

The American Society for Association Executives (ASAE) accomplishes both at their Great Ideas conference through a Braindates component. Braindates are pre-scheduled, one-on-one meetings with fellow participants. Through an app, attendees can pre-schedule conference time to meet with others on key topics either to offer insights or to gain them.

I think Braindates should be a standard feature at all professional conferences. It avoids having participants rely on a happenstance meeting and spares people the awkward process of trying to find someone who may be a good connection. It also makes it easier for those willing to share expertise to have an informal forum to do so.

Think about how you could add a Braindate to your next event, or even provide a process for them to occur in your organization. Everyone wins when you foster connections and cultivate ideas.

leadership dot #2073: sender

I recently received a major award from my professional association and learned about it through an email. In addition to the announcement and details about the award presentation, the sender wrote: “With the changing times it feels strange to send this [first] via email but I believe we have moved to this as a standard and expected form of communication. Perhaps I can generate a dot on this strange feeling.”

I’m not surprised about it feeling strange to send my notification in this way. He was experiencing the dissonance of using a method he thought the receiver would want vs. a method that felt true to him. It’s like the grandma feeling strange texting her grandchildren or them wincing at writing her a handwritten letter instead of a greeting on Facebook.

I think you can eliminate the strangeness with a decision about authenticity. I choose to send handwritten letters, even to my phone-obsessed nieces and nephews, because it is authentic for me. I welcome their thank-you texts for packages, although I would never send one. I choose to send emails or notes to colleagues instead of sending social media messages as they often do.

While much is written about tailoring your message to your audience, ultimately you, as the sender, should choose a vehicle for that message that is authentic for you. Receiving good news is fantastic no matter what the method and a sender should feel good about sending it, too.

leadership dot #2060: incentivize

I suspect that most of us receive email surveys from companies we don’t know and often hit “delete” rather than filling them out. My sister recently was asked to provide her opinion on human resource trends, and even though she was not familiar with the vendor, their incentive motivated her to complete the questionnaire.

In exchange for a few minutes of her time, Discover Org Research provided a $10 contribution to the Nature Conservatory. It was a win-win for everyone: the survey was filled out instead of deleted, my sister donated to a cause she believes in and, of course, the Nature Conservatory received a contribution that they otherwise would not have earned.

Think about the incentives that you provide for participation in research or similar forms of engagement. Maybe appealing to a greater good will do you some good as well.

Thanks, Meg!

leadership dot #2056: spa c in g

Having text show up perfectly across multiple platforms is sometimes a challenge. While many websites are now constructed for “responsive design” to allow for better alignment, it still isn’t perfect.

But what I can’t understand is how humans can fail to have proper spacing in print that is low tech (i.e. handwritten!):
(sadly, just one example of many from the funeral)

Or how egregious spacing errors occur on very visible things that are done by professionals  (i.e. expensive):


(Photo from Karlee Kanz on Facebook)

Who thought this was acceptable? And where are the quality checks – by the supervisor, the person who delivered it or anyone else involved in the process?

I wonder if people are in such a rush that everything blurs together in their brain or so distracted that they don’t take a moment to pause and consider the end product. Don’t fall prey to these traps. Take that extra second to ensure your words stay together and spaces are placed where they belong. 

leadership dot #2049: impossible

Talk about the impossible task: Keep your 10-week old puppy calm for six weeks until she is old enough to have surgery on a torn ACL. It is not going to happen.

The instructions from the vet made me think about other equally ludicrous goals that we give employees: pick up the work of the person who left and do your job, too; make monumental changes without revising any policies; serve more customers and serve them well, but without any additional resources, etc.

Why do we add to the frustration by expecting the unrealistic?

Part of our role as a supervisor is to help set priorities. It would serve a far greater purpose if lofty ambitions were broken down into specifics and given rankings: “Be sure the puppy doesn’t climb stairs” might actually occur. “Please do the reporting Chris used to do before you do the work for Committee X.” “Prepare a list of key policies that would be impacted by the change and your recommendations to alter them if needed.” “Let me know how we can reduce barriers and make customer service our first priority.”

Help your staff achieve results by keeping your expectations grounded and prioritized. You are far more likely to see progress in a narrowly defined area than with a broad wish list. Specificity encourages success.

leadership dot #2038: conversion

For Christmas this year, I gave my siblings a flash drive – with 3,347 family slides scanned onto it and made a print book with a selection of shots. It was undoubtedly a labor of love, but one that proved to be quite timely given other circumstances. The slides had been sitting in my basement in carousels for several years since we cleaned out the childhood home, but they had remained untouched.

When I started the scanning process, I found many carousels (aka hundreds of slides) that none of the “kids” had ever seen before: my mom and dad’s dating days, wedding and honeymoon; photos of my mom and her sister in high school and slides of times long before any of us were even a thought. While we had spent countless hours watching slides of the family, we always started with our childhood – where we could see ourselves in the pictures – without ever caring about those early days.

If I had not scanned those slides, I am positive that no one would have ever seen them, and now they have become prized treasures.

Think about what old media is lurking in the basement of your home or organization. Are there old documents or photographs that would be better put into a book that could be shared? Can you find untold stories in storage that should be put into a vehicle to be appreciated? Is there a project that would make the visuals of your legacy come to life?

It may not be easy to convert old memories into modern methods, but it is so worth the effort to do so.

leadership dot #2028: three billboards

I recently saw Three Billboards outside Ebbings, Missouri, a movie about a woman who posts a larger-than-life message to the sheriff who has yet to capture the person who murdered her daughter. Seven months have gone by without an arrest so Mildred (Frances McDormand) places the billboards that read: Raped While Dying // And Still No Arrests? // How Come, Chief Willoughby?

The movie revolves around her rage which gets expressed in many unhealthy forms, but also about the torment of wanting answers to something that is unanswerable. As the Chief (Woody Harrelson) reports, “some cases are not solved.”

Many things go on in life that seem to make no sense to us. We want answers for illnesses, disasters and deaths although we ware unable to receive an explanation. We want solace when only time can provide an inkling of that most welcome emotion.

Venting your anger on billboards may not be the most effective method of expressing your grief, but the movie does give the viewer many themes to ponder. Maybe you can use its premise and construct for yourself three virtual billboards to vent your frustrations and sorrows in a palatable way. What would your three billboards say?

leadership dot #2027: yet

I made a purchase in a small independent gift store and asked for a gift receipt. The owner, who was also running the register and appeared to be the only employee, said: “Oh, we aren’t able to offer them – yet.”

What a hopeful word: “yet.” It acknowledges that she knows her current limitations, but has plans to overcome them.

I used to tell my staff that everything was better than it was and not as good as it could be. Yet.

Think about how you can convey a sense of possibility with your vocabulary this year.

leadership dot #2021: waiting

While the hustle and bustle of the holidays swirled around me, I found myself sitting in a room with my siblings, aunt and uncle with nothing to do. We were all at the hospital while my mom underwent surgery so no one wanted to leave, but there was really no other option except to sit and wait. And tell stories.

We talked more in those few hours than we have in the past year. We heard about our grandparents, our mom growing up, what the third cousins are doing and other family news that would normally not be shared except via Facebook.

I see these relatives every Christmas, but normally the conversation revolves around the basketball game on television, what presents were under the tree, the meal and its preparation/clean up or other trivial chat. There are so many diversions and so many in attendance that the dialogue is exchanged in snippets, not paragraphs, unlike during the long hours in the hospital waiting room.

Don’t wait for a somber occasion to slow down the clock and have a good old-fashioned story hour with some of your relatives. Use the upcoming holiday gatherings to pull up a chair and actually talk with each other, sans technology, and learn a bit more about those roots on your family tree.

leadership dot #2020: spelling

For many people, myself included, dictionaries are about the spelling and looking up how to properly do that vs learning what the meaning or root cause of the word might be. One of my very favorite apps is dictionary.com. It says a lot about how I spend my time!

Having an electronic version makes it nice that I don’t have to lug a big dictionary around with me, but what I really love is the “did you mean?” feature. When you look up words in a print version— presumably because you don’t know how to spell them, you are left with no assistance if you are off the mark. But dictionary.com will provide you with a whole list of related or possible suggestions — and presto you can insert it and be in your way.

Think about how your organization operates. Are you like the print dictionary where all the information is there and fully accessible to clients — IF they know what to ask or where to look? Or are you like the app where you provide all the same resources PLUS anticipate what your clients might really mean and give it to them in that format instead?

There is a reason the print version is yellowing on my shelf.