#858 navigating

I was recently talking with a colleague who was new to her position.  She was describing some of the changes that she would like to make and sought my advice on the timing of them.

This led to a wonderful discussion about the challenges of affecting change.  If you are seen as too nice, then change is hard because people won't take you seriously.  If you are labeled as too tough, then you have difficulty building the relationships and trust necessary to earn support from others.  

Both of these positions are exacerbated when you are first in a position because people don't have a history with you to modulate your responses over time.  Being seen as either a softie or a bully does you no good; you need to navigate the space in between in order to create an impact.

The best way to traverse down a narrow channel is to make turns carefully.  You still can make progress, but take some time to build the credibility you need to survive in the long run.

-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

#857 R&R

It is Monday morning and typical office banter is likely to include the question "What did you do this weekend?".  

Note how the emphasis is on the "do" part of the question.  How would you respond if someone said: "Not one darn thing.  I stayed on the couch all weekend and stared into space."?  We expect that people did something; that they were productive or at least active in their entertainment choices.

The same occurs for vacations. "Where are you going?" is the first question that is asked, and if the reply is that the person is staying at home, it is often followed by a disclaimer: "I need to paint the garage."

It seems that we are not comfortable with true, unabashed leisure without making it into a conversation-worthy experience or turning it into a productive accomplishment.  

For your mental health and sanity, try to regularly have time where you do nothing of note.  Make it your goal this week that when you're asked next Monday: "How was your weekend?" you can honestly answer "delightfully boring."  Even God knew when it was time to rest.

-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

Thanks to Emily for the observation

#856 sock it to me

I wrote last week* about the decline in jeans and the growth in more casual "athleisure" wear.  I wonder if this phenomenon was what drove the Men's Warehouse folks to include black dress socks with men's tuxedo rentals.

Do the socks of groomsmen and ushers really need to match?  It seems like an unnecessary expense to include socks (that you can keep!) with a rental outfit.

Or perhaps the fashionistas (or brides) were worried that their men would not have (or wear?) black socks on this formal occasion.

In any case, now in with the cuff links and cumberbuns comes a pair of conservative knit ankle-highs. 

The expectations for a complete, no-thinking-involved package continue to grow.  Do you need to follow the trend and include something obvious with your offerings?  

-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

*Dot #842 September 21, 2014

#855 sprint

A colleague told the story about advice his coach gave him when he was on the track team: "Run through the tape."

By the end of the race, everyone who makes it to the finish line is exhausted.  The natural inclination is to slow down even a minuscule amount once you see the finish line.  "Whew, I made it!" is a thought that often runs through sprinters' minds.

The coach was encouraging the runners to be focused all the way to the end.  

It is good advice for anyone working on a project. Even if you're tired, it's always best if you finish strong.  Take his advice and run through the tape on your next task.

--- beth triplett

leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

#854 position

While I was in Minneapolis, I went with my sister to return something at Nordstroms.  It did not go well.  In addition to waiting in line, the clerk did not offer to take the (heavy) return item from us or hang it up while processing the transaction.  After the return, another clerk was all but lecturing my sister on what she "should" have done before purchasing the item.

If you read a transcript of the interaction, it may not seem egregious.  But this was Nordstroms, known as the king of customer service, and so both of us expected something more.  By linking their brand to service, Nordstroms elevated our expectations and so ordinary was considered as sub-par.

The same phenomenon occurred when I stayed at a "luxury" hotel in Washington DC.  There was nothing tragic about my stay, but my expectations were higher and so the facility was a disappointment.  Small transgressions in housekeeping or service were exacerbated because I expected, based on their brand/literature/price, to be wow-ed and I wasn't.  If the same room and front desk experience had happened at a Hampton Inn, it would have gone unnoticed, but since they position themselves as luxury I was looking for more.

It is easy in the marketing world to make bold claims and to boast about your product, but nothing could be worse if you don't deliver.  Think carefully about the words you use and the step on which you stand.  If you can't align reality with that, you are better off taking it down a notch instead of having disappointed customers knock you down several.

-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

#853 astonishing

One final thought from wedding weekend...

Even though I know young newlyweds like cash as a gift, I still have a hard time just writing a check.  I feel like I should give something with the money, so for this couple I put together a basket with bread, salt and wine -- and the It's a Wonderful Life movie where the symbolism came from:

Bread...that you may never know hunger
Salt...that life may always have flavor
Wine..that joy and prosperity may reign forever.

The most interesting part of the gift opening: neither the bride (age 22) or groom (age 26) had ever seen the movie!

I wrote yesterday about taking things for granted and assuming that our cultural universe encompasses "everybody".  In reality, it doesn't.  Even though it is "one of the most critically acclaimed films ever made" and the "number one most inspirational American film of all time"* -- not to mention the fact it runs almost continuously on television every December -- apparently there are some who still don't know the magic of the bell.

It made me glad that I had taken the extra step to include it as a gift -- I hope I gave this couple a memorable experience instead of just some funds that will soon be forgotten.

The next time you have an opportunity to make an impression instead of just complete a task, I hope that you make the effort to do so.  Making memories is an art, and all of should strive to be artists.

-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com

*from Wikipedia "It's a Wonderful Life"

Also see Dot #496, October 10, 2013

#852 oompah!

The wedding I attended over the weekend was held at a Serbian Orthodox church.  I was unfamiliar with the Serbian customs, but enjoyed witnessing them.

Two examples:  there was a "crowning", with the bride and groom both wearing rhinestone crowns joined together with a ribbon and the Dance of Isaiah, where the bride and groom's hands were tied together with the officiant's sash as they processed around the church.  It made for a much more interesting ceremony than the weddings I usually attend.

On the day I was back, I attended a discussion group about norms and what it is like to be new to a culture.  One of the points was that we often need to travel to see that what we think is common is, in fact, uncommon to other groups.  I thought of the wedding -- I am sure that the church rituals and folk dances at the reception are typical for every Serbian wedding and none of the bride's immediate family saw anything noteworthy in them.

All of this reminded me of an exercise I am using in class in our Strengths Finder module -- students sign their name five times with their dominant hand and then five times with their other hand.  Of course one feels much more natural, but neither is more correct than the other.  One just feels "right" for you. 

Make a conscious effort this week to see a slice of life through a different lens. You can enjoy the best customs and practices from another group and simultaneously learn to appreciate what you have been taking for granted in your own culture.  That is something to celebrate!

-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com