What was most striking to me in this presentation was that of the school shootings that had already taken place, in 81% of the cases, the shooter had told someone of his plans prior to the shooting, and 66% of the time more than one person had advance knowledge. Indirectly, 93% engaged in some behavior prior to the attack that caused others to be concerned.
I wonder if those who saw signs failed to say anything, or said it in such a way that obfuscated the message. In his book Outliers, Malcom Gladwell gives several examples of "mitigated speech" -- an attempt to downplay or sugarcoat the meaning of what is being said. Did those who saw concerning behaviors say: "I am worried that this person is going to do something violent?" or did they phrase it more like "he creeps me out?"
We are all guilty of mitigated speech. Gladwell's examples illustrate that subordinates gave hints to superiors more often than they spoke directly, even when airplane safety was at stake. Crew members gave hints "the weather looks mean" rather than saying "we need to turn thirty degrees right." Supervisors often beat around the bush in discipline or evaluation situations instead of clearly articulating expectations and the failure to meet them. People give vague replies in new relationships that aren't working out so well.
It has become almost natural to add wiggle words and qualifiers into our speech, but often critical messages are being lost in the haze. Just for today, say what you mean without mitigation and see how much clearly your messages communicate your intent.
-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com
@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com
A great read: Outliers: the story of success by Malcom Gladwell, 2008
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