#774 free pass

I have always had staff members who did not want to participate in certain office rituals that we had.  They don't want their birthday celebrated.  They would prefer not to attend certain meetings.  They don't want to come to the all-day retreat.  They don't want to join in social gatherings outside of work.

I used to say "too bad" and require people to partake, but I have changed my tune on that as the years have gone on.  If the reluctance is coming from a senior leader or someone in a major position, their lack of interest is usually a signal of larger fit issues and I try to address those rather than mandating participation.  

But if it is a part-time person or someone in an ancillary role, I no longer force them to attend.  Over the years, I have concluded that the negative energy they bring with their reluctance sucks the energy away from those excited about being there and in the end does more harm than good.  I did not always feel that way, but I have come to peace with it and now believe it is best for the group overall.

I recently had this conversation with a colleague who has a new group of reports -- and someone who would rather remain on the fringes.  "The fight isn't worth it," I told him.  "I know it is counter to all the team building I preach, but it is true."

Two take aways for today:  1) Old dogs can learn new tricks.  Leadership styles and how they are promulgated can/should/do evolve over time.  2) Think twice before you make something "mandatory."  If someone chooses to pass on something, you may be better off without them than with their negative karma.

-- beth triplett
leadershipdots.blogspot.com

@leadershipdots
leadershipdots@gmail.com