#64 grrr

I recently had a meeting with a colleague who asked to see me.  I was intrigued when I saw the appointment on my calendar as it was the first time I had ever met with him, and even more wide eyed when the meeting began.  He started out by telling me that he has always admired my ability to keep calm even with all the chaos that goes on, and that it appeared to him that I was always able to maneuver through difficult or sensitive topics with grace.  He now had a dicey situation and "thought of me first" for advice on how to handle it.  

To say that I was stunned was an understatement.  I wouldn't have said that this person actually knew my behavior, let alone admired it.  Takeaway #1 from the encounter was that you are influencing people far more than you know.  People do watch and learn from you; intentionally or not.

It also got me reflecting on his observations.  Am I really able to project calm and grace? What am I doing to cause that perception anyway?  Two thoughts to my answer:

-- I am a believer in letting time pass.  I never respond to an email or comment that incites me until the next day.  I know when I do not have the capacity to respond in an even-keeled manner, so I don't.  Saying nothing is better than saying something you will regret or that will just escalate the situation.

-- I try to keep emotions even.  I'm not really a rant-and-raver.  My staff knows that if I say "Dr. Triplett says GRRR" that I am not happy, but I can convey that sentiment with a sentence rather than a rampage.  It acknowledges that something is amiss, and I hope it instills a level of confidence that I can/will deal with it; no need to waste more time venting.

Allow some breathing space for your problems.  Then use your time to coach and mentor an "unusual suspect" rather than having another round with those who raise your dander.

-- beth triplett
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